close your eyes and see the world through your heart.

You'll see The Terabhitia Kingdom. hehehe.

for me, living in this world is hard enough. Listen through all the desire makes me wonder, How exactly this happening?

To be truth, im 21 years old. Im getting my degree in less than 1 years. After skipping some part of the whatnot to achieve what I want. Been doing some part time job, been doing some office- desk bound job, been doing all the experience that I needed to survive in this real world.

I know, life out there are so much tougher. Let alone to think about it, I still live with my parent. Though we have not spoken for I have no idea how many years.

My family is a typical asean oriented family. You see, the favor kids, which bring out the best- Wins their heart. with smile. and not mention all the material needs will be in the hands without even had to request. Only by their fav lah.

I was rebellious, should have known the consequences. I decided to take on adventure teens life. you know, the one smoking behinds the bar, went back home late, the life that supposedly promised the best life. which only account to temporary. I've decided to have that kind of life, I dun really care about them. I never even studied. Luckily for my big paper, I didnt flunk all. and Thanks to you education minister for lowering the minimum bar to go to university. I have the chances to go to university, but of course, the courses that was given to me, not to fulfill the industrial demands.

They (my parent) never knew I was living alone. I never trust anyone.I have few friends, which I dun favor much. Most of the time I've spent alone by myself. If i need any entertainment, hence the hands prevails. hehe, I guess, that's how life works.

I've been pondering about the family institution. I was never given any good example, the inevitable discriminatory policy applied in my family. I know, shouldnt complaint so much about my parent, the only quality I guess, given by them was my -money- which sometimes not in time. 

I guess, Im gonna be alone. till I die, not having family- which I have no idea about having a life partner. I dun even know, and I cant even get my head straight when it comes to sexual orientation.

I thought I was confuse by having good times watching all good lucking men goofing at the field, shirtless. I have no idea how exactly to fix this. Knowing the Natural Law is existed. (says who philosophy is stupid) I just hoping someday I would change.

I could change.

but this guy is just too good to be true.

:)