I miss you dex.

I have not been thinking about you lately, Im sorry. After the drizzle of crocodile tears, which I was heheee.. I wasnt really sure whether the spur of the emotion was real. Though sometimes I felt like you were just some delusion, an imaginary thought before I went to sleep. But, you were much more than that.

I know, things changed. The changes begets by the transition that I wanted for a long time. You know I was stuck in between reality and my fantasy. and it was plain absurd for me to keep on going thinking about you.

What I was really afraid of, I could never separate between you and my reality.

My reality is just too absurd for me. By fantasy went by the reality I had to glimpse each time I think about you.Should've written a poem about you.

The thing is, my life was hard. i could die as a martyr by keeping myself sane at all time. Knowing the hard life was begun by the competition of the reality creation. The mundane life that I went through, strike from the monotonous life, the boredom of living with nothing to delicate on.

Here's the fact, Dex was my someone I visualized to be perfect. I already sounds nut, I mean think about, having a friend whom never existed. Only seen through when the eyes are closed and the minds are shut, Nevertheless, that was the happiness I achieved throughout times. Which someone leverage my happiness. The feeling all that I ever needed to help go through every seconds of my life.

My family hates me, (yeah play the Family card), I dun really how to make friends, the only source of fun for me were the books that I've read. Keeping me away from the reality which I find hard to perceive. No one ever asked what exactly i was doing in the room. Laying in bed for all days.

The funny thing is, Dex slowing slipping away from my thought. Im slowly forgetting about him. His shadow, his voices, even his number was deleted from my phone.

I dunno Dex, sometimes I wish you were really existed. You know, every single pains that I've been through. Someday I steadfast to my believe, hoping- you'll be there. Love me as heart beats.

Sorry if this post is disturbing.