I never like twilight.

I watched first Twilight saga in circa 2007 and decided to buy the book (s) for 4 saga which in returns kinda makes me regret, because I know the end of the story. The only reason I decided to keep the book because- I need robert pattison  or edward if you may call him. Because, he is..

I like the way his affection towards Bella, (but I never liked anyone name bella), every smile that potray sadness and every single words and lines utter were just to show how much the love could possibly cultivate. The story itself is metamorphosis of forbidden loves entice between 2 different being (which has the same origin) I mean, its a good storyline only the part when..

Bella is pregnant. dear lord, your heart stop beating and how the heck your sperm could produce?

That's the only part I wasnt really sure to digest, yet I think the main reason I decided to watch the final saga, because..

I might not gonna see edward in that shape. in that affection, in that desire.

I always wonder, would there anyone will be my edward? definitely  not bella, cuz she's kinda desperate. and sadly, she's not even fit to be part of the vampire. her so called blur-attitude doesnt really makes sense to me.

watch bel ami, oh dear- my dear edward now is a whore.

I like to watch sensitive guy whom would cry for a heavy cause (not in stupid boyfriend girlfriend relationshit ya) but, most of the time I rather like to see these kinda guy because of, family maybe, or maybe just cry out of frustration. I remember, one of my classmate when i did A level together, he cried he failed miserably for literature and asked for my help. though, I wasnt the highest, but we learn about Jane eyre (though it was bullshit as ...@#$@) he prefer to ask for my help out of many students. 

nevertheless, i live in my own world where I dun really speak to people. How can I ever find my edward ya?